Emancipation...Yes!! or No???

Here we are again: Is emancipation a blessing or a curse?
How far does our sense for independecy go? For sure not until the cashier of the cinema, where our new boyfriend says: " Paying? Yes, seperately." If you are one of these girls who had to experience that on one of your first dates, am terribly sorry. I think at this point we wish it was 1900 again where guys helped us out of our coats and into our chairs. Did emancipation maybe scare the gentlemen away? Cruel imagination, isn't it? Seems like there is a price for everything. But back to the movies, symbolically at least. What do we expect from our loved one? Do we want him to pay for us and if yes for what? Everything or just some things? Or do we prefer to strictly share the costs? Gestures count thats for sure, and ladies: "Yes." It is definitely appropriate to let him pay the bill in the restaurant or the cab when you go somewhere together. Of course it depends as well on what each of you earns, but a man is supposed to be a man and show you that he values you. Maybe we are a little superficial or even naive to see this as an important indicator, if he cares about us. Call us traditional or whatever and yes if this is what it takes to stick to our opinion, then we are traditional with pleasure. For us it is always the package, how a guy wraps it for us. If he tells us: "Honey I am looking forward for the two of us cooking together tonight and enjoying each others company" or says: "I can not wait to sleep with you after we finally finish dinner." It definitely makes a difference.Which one do we prefer, if it is one of the first dates? Goes without saying doesn't it? Even if we end up sleeping with him, we like him to wrap his expectations like a gift. It might in the end be the same result, but still guys this is what we want, because as tough as we might seem, we like it a little bit romantic. Another thing: Imagine you spend a wonderful night with him in a hotel and afterwards he asks you to share the costs! You give yourself to that man, you probably sleep with him and wake up in his arms. So he should count himself lucky that he was in the position to spend a night with you, or? That is at least a healthy attitude towards ourself. And then kawoom all the magic is gone and you should pay for sleeping with him, although it should be the other way around? Of course its not about money, if you like him and he likes you, but what can we do, if these thoughts pop up in us when he wants to share the hotel bill? So what can we expect from the guy by our side? Or better, what should we expect? In the beginning there is no doubt! He should pay, which does not mean that we won't be offering him to share the bill when we eat out, but he should better not take it! That's a complete No-go. On the other hand, if you already spend some dates and he payed a lot of things, okay then we might be feeling fine about taking part in some of the further costly activies. To show him that we do not want to depend on him, but generally we enjoy it when the guy takes initiative when it comes to financial matters, that is just how it works and only because times changed and women have more rights, it does not mean that a man can rest on his laurels and not put efforts anymore..

Are we in love or is it just the "attention"?

Of course every human being out there needs attention! The question is until what stage is it healthy? Do we just enjoy the attention or do we even get addicted to it? Many women know it, sometimes we tend to do things for this attention, which exceeds our own values and attitudes! We are self-conscious women who have a good profession, great friends and a well-working brain that tells us what we want and what strictly goes against our imaginations! So we are showing the world our strength from day to day and then? In a moment where nobody sees us we sit hours at home waiting for him to call! Maybe we do something beside, but we have to admit: Its not really productive! If we go to take a shower we OF COURSE take our cell with us, so just in case, if he calls we can jump out of the shower and pick up the phone no matter if our hands are wet and our hair is full of shampoo. There we are, the independet and strong women! For gods sake ladies, we dont need this! We have OUR own wishes, OUR own personality and our OWN life! so the question comes up: Why the hell do we turn into these little, insecure beings when it comes to men? Why do we put their needs before ours? Why are we 24/7 available for them, even if we are actually busy? Sometimes we can catch ourselves postponing appointments, because if he calls we might not be able to answer and calling back? No this we dont want to, we dont want to show him that he is so important to us that we ring him back. Isn't it ironic? If guys could observe us when we become these crazy obsessed creatures, they would probably run as fast as their feet can carry them! So lets get back to the topic: Is this kind of attention healthy? NO, definitely and obviously not! What happens deep inside of us when there is this new guy appearing on the surface, turning our world 180 degrees around. Lets see: Although we are getting older and (wiser) and we are sick of the game between men and women, we still play it! We always want the opposite from what we have! If he puts the world down to our feet and contacts us ten times a day, are we still that crazy about him? Mainly not! And if he tends to postpone our dates and calls hours later than promised, we become obsessed! What the hell is wrong with us? And if we are not even able to stop the game how can we be sure if we are in love or not?? If he lets us wait, there is nothing else we can think about, then he is on our mind all day long, but then when he calls says he misses us and wants to meet up as soon as possible we become bored or just lose interest in a way.Sooo how do we find out: Are we falling in love or are we just becoming this little insecure beings again, who crave for attention? Its probably more simple than we think. If it is really love or falling in love we do not even ask ourselves this question. All attention aside. If we develop true feelings for someone, it comes naturally and we are balanced, so if we crave for someones attention over weeks and are still not satisfied with the way he behaves toward us, forget about him! Some game in the beginning might be even fun and exciting but in the long run it destroys us, so we should run as long as we still can!

Trust or not to trust?

I am always wondering, should we trust them or not? At the beginning you dont even know: Am I in the position to tell him that I dont like it when he is going on a snowboard vacation with the guys? Or am I even allowed to feel like this already? To feel the posessive and jealous part of myself after dating a few weeks? I just know that I dont like it! I mean yes, he deserves to have fun when I have to study all week long. I like him a lot, so of course he should enjoy himself, but I cant help it! Still there is this little evil part of myself wishing he would be trapped in his room because of a snowstorm or something like that. I always try to calm myself down in these situations, you should trust him, I tell myself. If you will go crazy in the beginning already it will be over, sooner or later. I want to start a new chapter, try something else, maybe trust a guy once in a while. But since statistically 50 % of the guys are cheating, how can we be calm when he is going to winter wonderland with all these snowbunnies hopping around him? But at the start of something new, isn´t it the hardest? You should not take it to seriously and wait what happens, if he is the right one it will  develop, but since you like him a lot, you are afraid that he might do something stupid. Especially because you dont know him that well, how can you trust a complete stranger? So how should we feel, behave or react when he tells us: Baby am going snowboarding with the guys for a few days? When we start talking to him about how we feel, that we are a bit worried, he might think we want to control him. Some guys are really sensitive when it comes to their freedom. But! If he is a good guy and someone who cares about you, he won't mind talking to you about it. That does not mean that you should confront him with your wildest dreams, in which he sleeps with every second ass that runs past him, but he should accept the fact that we don't want him to do anything stupid and that we are just, well lets face it: CARING! We just want things to go perfectly and him not to ruin it from the beginning. Maybe we just worry that much, because we like him even more than we want to admit??

Do you miss passion? Well then grab your partner and try this....

Are you still out there?? Any sign of you??

Realtionships have always been complicated and always will be. Everyone of us knows that finding the right guy is like fishing in the deepest ocean. You date someone, have a blast with him, enjoy every second and then he never calls you. Or you are so convinced that THIS TIME he is the right one, the one who fits perfectly to you and in the end things turn out to be creepy or weird. There is just something that does not fit in the profile of that perfect guy anymore. You jump from date to date from one guy to another always hoping to find that special one or how many people say "soulmate". Anyways, if we talk about soulmates we should face the fact, that there is more than one. With more than billion of people living on this earth, face it there is not only one guy, who suits to you. Some of us might have experienced it: Being in love with two guys...Maybe they are both your soulmates and then of course how can you decide? Either you have none or then two at the same time. You already start being frustrated, the next date is about to take place and you already think about what weirdo am I seeing this time? So you go to the cafe or bar or whatever place, where you are supposed to meet him and then you ask him how he is living, by himself or with roommates. He tells you without any blinking of an eyelash that he is engaged and wants to be honest from the beginning. Thank you very much! And again a failure! What is happening in our world nowadays, guys are basically thinking that relationships are "out" assuming that you date them because you can`t wait to start something with a married or engaged guy or another girls boyfriend? Amazing how many benefits we have from todays fast changing world, but this is nothing we ever wished for! Yes, we wanted emancipation and yes, we think it´s fair that women can have high positions just like men do. But....NO, we still want a  man who appreciates us, who sees the only one in us, who is giving us what we need and values every second of the time he can spend with us. It might sound cheesy or like a fairytale! But in the end that is what we wish for! The guy on a gray horse picking us up and taking us to his castle! Yes, symbolically this is what we are looking for deep inside, because times might have changed, but not the fact for gods sake that we are women, who still want to be loved, like it was centuries ago. One-night-stands seem to be on the agenda of every second guy in a club and flings are the "future relationships" for many of them and there might be a time when we can enjoy some relationships without any engagement, but how is it possible that we always end up in these meaningless & bizar dates where the guy even asks us about our favorite sex position on the first date? So girls the question is, is there by any chance this one special person in between all these machos? Lets be optimistic about it, hope always dies last, right? No, seriously...Do we know how it used to be in the past, where couples stuck together for better or for worse, or in many cases probably for "the worst"?  The time of our grandparents probably was not that much different, it was just not common or fashionable or even accepted to break up, but humans tend to get used to the other one and take things for granted, so of course only because they stayed together it does not mean that they found their soulmate. Isn`t it more cruel to be with someone, although you wish you could break up? Or is it actually worse that guys just put it out there: "I just want Sex tonight, come with me or leave it!" Nowadays we have the choice. We are in a relationship with someone for many years and then well, it was not the right one..NEXT! Maybe it is just different, nor worse neither better. At least we have more freedom in deciding with whom we want to spend our life with! And yes, there is someone out there for all of us, we should see life like a journey, us as actors, if it didnt work out with one guy the last time, then his chapter in our book ís just closed. It might take some time to get over all this frustrating dates, where we always have to talk about the same stuff over and over again: "What do you do for living? ", "How do you spend your freetime?"... This might be a hard path, but once HE shows up, it will all make up for it. For sure! And at least, if he sticks to us we can assume that he really is into us and not because it is not in fashion to break up.....